Dear Aunty Julie,
My guy claims he loves me but its all lies. He hardly calls me and when he does, its only twice a week . He puts his friends and work before me and would rather hang out with the boys and go drinking with them than being with me.
Should I continue with this relationship?
Nnedi, Lagos
Dear Nnedi
I need to know how long you two have been going together and what’s an example of his putting friends first. Don’t forget, they may well have come first; he may know them a lot longer than he knows you. Is he gradually increasing his shared time with you in his social and emotional world? Relationships often start hot and heavy and sticky , but then you need to get back to a realistic sense of closeness and time apart. Even couples married need space.
Perhaps the key for now is whether the two of you can talk about and negotiate these kind of tough issues. Do you share laughs and good times or do you mostly feel unappreciated. Have you ever felt neglected in your family? If so, don’t expect your boyfriend to fill completely that emotional gap. Again, in a healthy relationship, there’s always a need to strike a balance between time together and time apart. Make sure you have a balanced life.
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