He discourages joint investment

Dear Bunmi,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost eight years now and we have a four-year-old son. He was never that serious when we started our relationship, I was the one rushing him. After I had our son, I moved in with him and although we both have good jobs, he never encouraged me to discuss marriage.

He’s currently building a house on a plot of land he bought for himself.  When I suggested that we build the house in our joint names, he advised me to get a plot and build my own. Do you think we have a future?
Roliat, by e-mail.

Dear Roliat,

From the start, your partner has been backing off from the relationship, pulling the rope in his direction. You kept pulling him back over to your idea and when you got pregnant, that pulled him right over into living with you.

What young man’s ego is not boosted by the arrival of a first son?  Even with his much loved son, your man still won’t go the same mile. You want marriage, commitment, the works – and there’s nothing wrong with that but your man doesn’t.

You can keep pushing him to make that final commitment, but there’s always a risk he’ll end up walking away. If you accept things as they are, he’ll probably stay and you will have some sort of a future together but it may not be a future that makes you happy.

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