My ex allows the kids to run wild

By Bunmi

Dear Bunmi,

I’m a divorced mother of three. Their dad and I split up six years ago and he sees them every other weekend. When they’re with me, they have firm rules about bedtimes and behaviour. It’s a different story with their dad. He lets them stay up late at night watching unsuitable TV programmes and films. They always come back with an attitude, refusing to tidy their rooms and answering me back.

I’m fed up with always being made out to be the strict parent. I grew up in a loving household where everyone did their bit and I want the same for the kids. As things are now, I’m frightened they’ll end up wanting to go and live with their dad.

Gold, by e-mail.

Dear Gold,

You need to let your ex know about the atrocities your kids are up to. For all you know, he could be shocked at their behaviour as kids are good manipulators, especially  when dealing with their separated parents. Both of you have to agree you need to close ranks and draw up new sets of rules to be implemented in both households.

Make sure each of you have ‘treat time’ with the children and promise not to let  unacceptable behaviour slide.

He might have let the kids get away with so much because he felt guilty about the divorce. The earlier this was sorted out, the more peace of mind  you’d have.

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